Sometimes, still, I can feel this kind of future brush my skin like an operatic note tapering off somewhere. The rushing static of a runaway dream. Maybe for me, it’s enough to know that it has existed and will exist again, with or without my input. Even if it’s not existing in my body, that it is existing in bodies elsewhere. Bodies connected to mine. That one Kanye lyric “Everything I’m not made me everything I am.” Technology has been and is being midwifed by some pretty evil forces. I really think Trump and Thiel and Hegseth are unknowing and helpless vessels of trickster spirits they will never see or understand but nevertheless are. Can’t help but be. Was never their choice. To, what, bring down imperialism and the Western empire? Is this the subversion and chaos and yet in the end totally predicable story necessary to finally do it? I think so. I think this is the long-term equilibrium equilibriuming. So I think for modern technoscience, by virtue of it being itself, it will bring about its own end. We need not aid in its destruction. We already are. We have this Hobbesian way of being and we also have mycelial aspects of our being that aren’t systematized or normative right now. I’ve always thought about technology as having very real spiritual consequences. I’ll be the first to say it’s done a number on mine, for better and worse. I think we tend to think in this binary. Like, because we’ve only experienced “technology” within our current circumstances, we assume this is the only kind of reality it can bring about. This is the only way we can know it. But in the reading, technoshamanism reveals that no, our modern sensibilities of technology can very easily be a part of a different kind of reality that is more aligned with the social and biological, and all the other aspects of looking at the word -al ways, ways of being that is shamanism. And the reading is right that we exist within a very powerful engine that tends to just co-opt and consume beautiful things into itself, so how to avoid doing that. How to deepen and embody our understandings. And I liked that Oliveros part where she bodily connects to the tech around her. It is very much alive but none of us really feelingly know and that’s why we exploit and abuse our technology the way we do. At times, I feel really bad for it because I know it is suffering and I cannot feel its suffering. Because I am still yet another imperialized appendage that is losing its ability to feel and I want to depend and truly live out these understandings. There’s no lies you can tell here. All you can kind of do is be and try to be it and there’s no excuses otherwise. Your face is bare to God. And I want to read all of the authors that were listed more. So yeah. I also want to attach my poem I wrote a while ago because I didn’t know there was a word like entheogenesis which is cool. I like entheogens.

HOW I DECIDED TO STAY:

windows wink like radiant bullet holes

in the sun a city

becomes a sweaty crucible for

churning

bleeding angels

the water inside distilled into dark vein wine because

we could not speak

and then could not stop speaking

with the same magic the Bible cast when it coaxed the Word

from the black beginning

i am sure our language had never been spoken before

except by the Neandetherals

ultimate entheogen, love

will wash us inside

slowly

like a sky change 

we will emerge as an emulsion and

dine at some last supper to congratulate the

champion incarnation and

model alchemist

i think of Aphrodite rising in that Botticelli painting

let the demons vomit in your body

watch the night spread its wings

and after it has finished dragging your eyebags across the land

let me tell you a very important thing

(the whole world is covered in butterflies)

let me tell you how you will survive

(we will watch the earth thaw into breathy morning

enough to forget that it used to be any other way)

i still see your voice

squiggling like broken caterpillars

remember (always remember)

faith is the gravity that holds the last stars together 

all we need is a trick of photosynthesis

i am already the woman i want to become

I also like these questions:

1. How can artists embrace visionary consciousness?

2. How can art support entheogenesis (becoming divine

together) by joining ancient shamanic techniques and

contemporary technoscientific tools?

3. How can art catalyze greater awareness of what

Thich Nhat Hanh calls interbeing (the unity of all things)

to help heal the Earth?